Today's Topic: Dual Action Cleanse with Klee Irwin Infomercial
http://www.infomercial-hell.com/dual-action-cleanse/
So, Mr. Osbourne won a mustache contest at work yesterday, and this struck me as odd, because he doesn't have a mustache. Apparently, he drew a mustache on his face and he told me that it was inspired by Klee Irwin in the Dual Action Cleanse Infomercial. I thought it had been inspired by a child molester or a porn star, but after checking out the picture of Klee at the website above, it could have been inspired by Klee, a child molester or a porn star. They all seem to be the same thing.
The description of the infomercial is hysterical...I especially love Klee's description of seeing his child's poop....
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, 1/30/2009
Today's Topic: Stephen Colbert is also a god...
Last night, I proclaimed endlessly that I have always thought Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, to be a god. And then I got an e-mail from Stephen Colbert reminding me that I used to say the same of him, and he wanted to know what he did to lose my idolatry.
So, this blog is to make amends. Stephen, like the ancient Greeks, I worship many gods...Jeff Bezos is the god of commerce, Jon Stewart is the god of shixas, and you Stephen, are the god of sarcasm!
If any of you doubt that Stephen is the god of sarcasm, you should look at the video from January 29, 2009 called "The Word - the Audacity of Nope." I'm not telling you anything about it - just watch it:
http://www.colbertnation.com/home
Last night, I proclaimed endlessly that I have always thought Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, to be a god. And then I got an e-mail from Stephen Colbert reminding me that I used to say the same of him, and he wanted to know what he did to lose my idolatry.
So, this blog is to make amends. Stephen, like the ancient Greeks, I worship many gods...Jeff Bezos is the god of commerce, Jon Stewart is the god of shixas, and you Stephen, are the god of sarcasm!
If any of you doubt that Stephen is the god of sarcasm, you should look at the video from January 29, 2009 called "The Word - the Audacity of Nope." I'm not telling you anything about it - just watch it:
http://www.colbertnation.com/home
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, 1/29/2009
Today's Topic: Amazon.com's Earnings Report
Stimulating stuff, I know....but I can be kind of a geek with my stocks. And AMZN was one of the first stocks I had ever bought, and luckily sold back in 2001 at a large profit. I have been known to utter "Jeff Bezos is a god" on several occasions, and I utter it yet again today.
AMZN crushed the earnings estimates and in a time period where even Wal-Mart is facing a slowdown, AMZN was able to see a stunning increase in revenue. What shocked me, though, is why. According to the earnings report, the sales of Kindle fueled a good percentage of revenue. When AMZN first released Kindle, the hand held electronic book reader, I thought "Boy, even though Jeff Bezos is a god, this is one dumb idea." Why would one want to read a book using an electronic device. If I'm going to go through the work of reading, why wouldn't I just use the book. Wouldn't it be difficult to read "War and Peace" on a handheld electronic screen?
I still feel the same way about Kindle, and I still feel the same way about Jeff Bezos. He is a god - he is making a boat load of profits off of a product that an avid reader and lover of books just cannot understand. And that perhaps is the biggest reason why Jeff Bezos is a god...because he figured out a way to sell books to non-afficionados.
Stimulating stuff, I know....but I can be kind of a geek with my stocks. And AMZN was one of the first stocks I had ever bought, and luckily sold back in 2001 at a large profit. I have been known to utter "Jeff Bezos is a god" on several occasions, and I utter it yet again today.
AMZN crushed the earnings estimates and in a time period where even Wal-Mart is facing a slowdown, AMZN was able to see a stunning increase in revenue. What shocked me, though, is why. According to the earnings report, the sales of Kindle fueled a good percentage of revenue. When AMZN first released Kindle, the hand held electronic book reader, I thought "Boy, even though Jeff Bezos is a god, this is one dumb idea." Why would one want to read a book using an electronic device. If I'm going to go through the work of reading, why wouldn't I just use the book. Wouldn't it be difficult to read "War and Peace" on a handheld electronic screen?
I still feel the same way about Kindle, and I still feel the same way about Jeff Bezos. He is a god - he is making a boat load of profits off of a product that an avid reader and lover of books just cannot understand. And that perhaps is the biggest reason why Jeff Bezos is a god...because he figured out a way to sell books to non-afficionados.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, 1/28/2009
Today's Topic: Let's Boycott Girl Scout Cookies this Year
It's not that I don't like the Girl Scouts. I was one, and I used to sell cookies. But the prices for the cookies are beyond ridiculous (come on, $4.25/box?!?) AND this year, the girls are putting fewer cookies in the box to make up for increased raw material and transportation costs.
I don't want to penalize the girls themselves for the idiocy of the adults that run the program, so here's a better idea that won't penalize the girls: calculate the amount of money you would have spent on the cookies, and just write a check to the local Girl Scouts council for the same amount. Your check will be tax-deductible in its entirety, whereas the money you spend on the cookies is not at all tax-deductible since you received goods in exchange for the money. More money will go directly to your local girls - on average, about 80 cents for every dollar you give as a straight donation will go directly to providing programs for local girls. However, when you buy the cookies, most of the money goes to the baker, the advertising companies, and the national organization and your local girls get back maybe 5 cents per box.
So don't buy the cookies - but still help the scouts! Let's send the organization a message that charging ridiculous prices for their cookies is not in line with being a role model for these girls. If you want to teach them how to be entrepreneurs, teach them how to organize a spaghetti dinner and have them cook it all. The local girls will still get more money to use for programs than the cookie sales, and it will be with an alternative that promotes family dinners!
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/28/girl.scout.cookies/index.html
It's not that I don't like the Girl Scouts. I was one, and I used to sell cookies. But the prices for the cookies are beyond ridiculous (come on, $4.25/box?!?) AND this year, the girls are putting fewer cookies in the box to make up for increased raw material and transportation costs.
I don't want to penalize the girls themselves for the idiocy of the adults that run the program, so here's a better idea that won't penalize the girls: calculate the amount of money you would have spent on the cookies, and just write a check to the local Girl Scouts council for the same amount. Your check will be tax-deductible in its entirety, whereas the money you spend on the cookies is not at all tax-deductible since you received goods in exchange for the money. More money will go directly to your local girls - on average, about 80 cents for every dollar you give as a straight donation will go directly to providing programs for local girls. However, when you buy the cookies, most of the money goes to the baker, the advertising companies, and the national organization and your local girls get back maybe 5 cents per box.
So don't buy the cookies - but still help the scouts! Let's send the organization a message that charging ridiculous prices for their cookies is not in line with being a role model for these girls. If you want to teach them how to be entrepreneurs, teach them how to organize a spaghetti dinner and have them cook it all. The local girls will still get more money to use for programs than the cookie sales, and it will be with an alternative that promotes family dinners!
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/28/girl.scout.cookies/index.html
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, 1/27/2009
Today's Topic: Eskimo Barbie, Sarah Palin
You can imagine my horror to learn this morning that #1: Sarah is still in the news (when are her 15 minutes of fame going to be over?!?!) and #2: She is starting her own political action committee.
The article states that SarahPAC will support "local and national candidates who share Governor Palin's ideas and goals for our country." Thankfully, the article further explains that Sarah will be an advocate for energy independence and reform. Without that further explanation, I was shaking in my shoes that people who shared her ideas and goals would actually consider running for any office. I was dismayed enough that she was actually recruited to run for office herself, and the last thing I would want is more where that came from...and I'm not talking about Alaska...I'm talking about some other planet where people think it's okay to have leaders that do not seem to be aware of current events, foreign countries, or the names of newspapers.
The last things we need are more leaders like Sarah. They can keep her in Alaska. The mainland has many better options, like my poodle!
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/01/27/palin-launches-political-action-committee/
You can imagine my horror to learn this morning that #1: Sarah is still in the news (when are her 15 minutes of fame going to be over?!?!) and #2: She is starting her own political action committee.
The article states that SarahPAC will support "local and national candidates who share Governor Palin's ideas and goals for our country." Thankfully, the article further explains that Sarah will be an advocate for energy independence and reform. Without that further explanation, I was shaking in my shoes that people who shared her ideas and goals would actually consider running for any office. I was dismayed enough that she was actually recruited to run for office herself, and the last thing I would want is more where that came from...and I'm not talking about Alaska...I'm talking about some other planet where people think it's okay to have leaders that do not seem to be aware of current events, foreign countries, or the names of newspapers.
The last things we need are more leaders like Sarah. They can keep her in Alaska. The mainland has many better options, like my poodle!
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/01/27/palin-launches-political-action-committee/
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, 1/26/2009
Today's Topic: Loonie Rod Blagojevich...not to be confused with a Canadian Loonie, which is not actually crazy like Rod is
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/26/blagojevich.tv/index.html
Like Sarah Palin, I'm wondering why the media is still covering this guy. Instead of actually going to his impeachment trial today, and I dunno...mounting a defense if you insist that you're innocent...he's instead mounting a media blitz. I do hope his lawyer strongly advised him against this media blitz, because the things that are coming out of his mouth are INSANE!!! He claims that there was this bi-partisan conspiracy to indict him because he fights for the common person, rather than the political machine. In another interview, he claimed that the snippets being attributed to him are being taken out of context and being made into something more than they were. And my personal favorite, he claims that he even considered Oprah Winfrey for the Senate seat...like her popularity is going to help him convince people that he was fighting for them.
But forgive me...Rod is such a populist that he was only looking for a high paid board position for his wife so that they could donate all of the money to charity, right?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/26/blagojevich.tv/index.html
Like Sarah Palin, I'm wondering why the media is still covering this guy. Instead of actually going to his impeachment trial today, and I dunno...mounting a defense if you insist that you're innocent...he's instead mounting a media blitz. I do hope his lawyer strongly advised him against this media blitz, because the things that are coming out of his mouth are INSANE!!! He claims that there was this bi-partisan conspiracy to indict him because he fights for the common person, rather than the political machine. In another interview, he claimed that the snippets being attributed to him are being taken out of context and being made into something more than they were. And my personal favorite, he claims that he even considered Oprah Winfrey for the Senate seat...like her popularity is going to help him convince people that he was fighting for them.
But forgive me...Rod is such a populist that he was only looking for a high paid board position for his wife so that they could donate all of the money to charity, right?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday, 1/25/2009
Today's Topic: Arsons in Coatesville, PA
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090126/ap_on_re_us/coatesville_arsons
I used to live in a small town called Thorndale that bordered Coatesville - literally 2 miles down the road. The long and short of the story is that more than 30 arsons have been started in this small city in decline since the beginning of last year. More than half of them have occurred just in the past 3 weeks, and last night's fire spread down a block of rowhomes to claim 15.
Coatesville used to be home to a steel mill that built up the city. The small town where I lived and the small town on the other side, Downingtown, were little towns built up as employees of the steel mill prospered and were able to afford homes. Since the steel mill closed in the '80s, the town of Coatesville had been in decline. But it was starting to look up shortly before I moved a year ago, since it had received some community redevelopment grants. This situation however, will put it back into decline, as millions will be needed to clear up the burnt residences and rebuild.
It's a sad statement on society that first of all, people would do something like this and be so cavalier about the lives of people they never met. And second of all, that a city that worked so hard to pull itself out of decline could be forced back into it by such disrespectful individuals.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090126/ap_on_re_us/coatesville_arsons
I used to live in a small town called Thorndale that bordered Coatesville - literally 2 miles down the road. The long and short of the story is that more than 30 arsons have been started in this small city in decline since the beginning of last year. More than half of them have occurred just in the past 3 weeks, and last night's fire spread down a block of rowhomes to claim 15.
Coatesville used to be home to a steel mill that built up the city. The small town where I lived and the small town on the other side, Downingtown, were little towns built up as employees of the steel mill prospered and were able to afford homes. Since the steel mill closed in the '80s, the town of Coatesville had been in decline. But it was starting to look up shortly before I moved a year ago, since it had received some community redevelopment grants. This situation however, will put it back into decline, as millions will be needed to clear up the burnt residences and rebuild.
It's a sad statement on society that first of all, people would do something like this and be so cavalier about the lives of people they never met. And second of all, that a city that worked so hard to pull itself out of decline could be forced back into it by such disrespectful individuals.
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